Catching My Breath

It’s been a minute.

Honestly, I don’t even know where to start. Life’s been moving fast, and I’ve been trying to keep up. Last Friday was my last day at CI MED and the University of Illinois. I already miss everyone there more than I thought I would. It’s only Thursday, but it feels like that chapter closed weeks ago.

This week, I jumped straight into my new job at CCMSI in Danville. Whole new world. Whole new industry. The people have been great—super supportive, patient, and they genuinely want me to do well—but I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t been mentally draining. There’s so much to learn, and my brain feels like it’s constantly buffering. And don’t even ask how many times I’ve had to sprint to the bathroom from all the coffee I’ve been living on.

Rodeo last weekend was a good kind of chaos though. It was the Halloween IJRA rodeo—our favorite one. We picked up more National Little Britches qualifying rides, and I’m still so proud of every single one of them. Lessons were… entertaining. Let’s just say the hands, legs, and brains weren’t exactly working together, and a few of the cattle decided they had their own plans. But that’s rodeo life. Trailer-o-treating was a blast, and the girls had a great time.

Next up is our first MYRA rodeo in Cloverdale next month. New association, new experience, same rodeo family energy.

At home, Kelly had her first band concert this week. It was Halloween-themed, and she showed up as Marie Antoinette while her partner was the cake. “Let them eat cake.” Perfect. Loretta’s going as Jack Skellington, and Bonnie’s a pink garden fairy this year. My house is basically a costume department right now.

And tomorrow—Halloween. Samhain. The energy feels big, but I don’t feel super grounded. I haven’t done a tarot pull in a while. Haven’t journaled. Haven’t had a real quiet moment. But I’ll get there. Our moon water’s still sitting out on the porch soaking up whatever it can, and honestly, same.

I’ve been running on autopilot—trying to keep up with work, horses, lessons, kids, bills, and emotions that feel like they’re coming from every direction. I’m tired. Like, deeply tired.

But I’m hopeful too.

Maybe that’s the point of this season—everything dying back a little so you can rebuild stronger. I’m not there yet, but I know I will be. One coffee, one lesson, one rodeo weekend at a time.

If you’ve been feeling the same kind of tired—mentally, emotionally, or soul-deep—slow down with me this week. Light a candle. Pour your coffee with intention. Step outside and breathe in the cold air. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be sacred.