I have a confession.

I tell everyone I’m 29.

Forever.

It’s a running joke. I say it confidently. I say it like my skin signed the agreement too.

But the other morning at 6:12 a.m., standing at my bathroom sink with a claw clip in and toothpaste on the counter, I caught my reflection and thought…

Ma’am.

We need to regroup.

Because when your face starts slipping into its fifties and you are not even a decade there yet, something has to give.

Enter my influencer of a daughter.

This child has a skincare lineup that would impress even the pickiest dermatologist. She reads ingredient labels for fun. She has opinions about peptides. She has a system. A drawer. A routine that makes me feel wildly underqualified.

One day she looked at me and said, “Mom. You need to do something.”

The audacity.

But she was right.

I have avoided full face makeup for years because I have fought foundations forever. Too cakey. Too dry. Too shiny. Wrong color. Wrong texture. I get more annoyed than satisfied and end up washing it off halfway through the day, which leaves me with a mess and mild resentment.

So instead of covering it up, she told me to fix the base.

Keep it simple.

Keep it consistent.

Keep it under two minutes.

Now I have a tiny routine. An eye serum. A face serum. A moisturizer. A lymphatic brush that wakes everything up.

Nothing dramatic. Nothing extreme. It takes less than two minutes.

Less time than it takes to prep the coffee maker.

Less time than it takes to argue about brushing teeth.

Less time than it takes to convince someone to get out of bed.

And yet for years I skipped it.

I will oil a saddle like it’s sacred.

I will condition leather.

I will research supplements for my horses for hours.

But my own skin? Eh. She’ll survive.

No.

She has cried in trucks. Squinted into arena lights. Sat in meetings trying to look calm when she wasn’t. Smiled steady when everyone else needed reassurance.

She deserves ninety seconds.

If you’re curious, these are the four I use:

Eye serum: https://amzn.to/3ZU90Lu

Face serum: https://amzn.to/4samYFb

Face moisturizer: https://amzn.to/3OpOVua

Lymphatic brush: https://amzn.to/3MI591a

All four have been game changers. Not in a dramatic, overnight miracle way. In a steady, I-look-rested-and-less-annoyed-with-my-own-face way.

The real irony?

Now I have to fight her off to keep her from stealing them.

First it was my hoodies.

Then my hairspray.

Then my good mascara.

Now I catch her hovering near my sink like, “Are you using that today?”

Ma’am. Those are mine. Go back to your dermatologist-level drawer.

So yes, I will continue telling everyone I am 29 forever.

But I am also going to maintain the face that has carried me this far.

Not high maintenance.

Maintained.

Now.

About this sudden increase in grey hair.

We are going to need a separate family meeting for that.