Imposter syndrome hit me hard this weekend.

Whitney Widick
Sep 29, 2025
2 min read

Don’t get me wrong, our rodeo weekend at IJRA was a good one. We had wins, we had learning moments, and we had some of the loudest cheering sections in the barn.

Bonnie nailed her 6th qualifying ride in barrels and officially punched her ticket to NATIONALS in June. Oklahoma, here we come!
E pulled a 15.6 on Saturday, then came back with a PR of 15.3 on Sunday for 4th place. I keep telling her, those girls running 14.7? She’s capable. Her cow pony isn’t even at peak fitness yet. The ceiling is nowhere near hit.
Loretta impressed everyone. She cleaned both her barrel and pole patterns and hit a personal best of 35 in barrels Sunday—loping from second to third and home. Her grin at the finish line, matched with the crowd’s roar, is something I’ll never forget.
BB snagged a PR in poles Sunday and finished 9th. Progress is progress.

But here’s where imposter syndrome sneaks in—my newbies. BB and M run fast at home. They fly. They ride with confidence. Yet when we step into the competition pen, nerves take over. Hands tighten. Horses shuffle. Speed fades. And I feel that sting in my chest like I’m failing them.

Rodeo is an investment of time and money. Their parents trust me with both. Their success feels tied to my worth. And when they don’t place high, I spiral into questioning everything:

Am I coaching well enough?
Are my horses holding them back?
Does the condition of my place make me “less than” compared to others?

I know Gemma isn’t ideal anymore. She’s older, stiffer, and not built for the speed these girls crave. But she’s steady, forgiving, and a great teacher. I want more horses for them. I want them to feel the rush of success that keeps kids hooked. But that takes resources I don’t have right now.

Still—I believe in the process. Let them feel the speed early so they know their potential, then slow it back down to polish the work. Basics matter. Confidence matters. And I refuse to quit, even on the days where the voice in my head calls me a fake.

Because the truth is—we had a great weekend. No falls. Mostly clean patterns. Big PRs. Bigger smiles. And an extended rodeo family that keeps showing up for one another.

We’ll regroup with a fun show this coming Sunday. Then it’s a short break before the next IJ at the end of October. The girls want to start testing Maverick—maybe poles, maybe English, maybe both. We’ll see.