Nails, Rodeos, and a breath I didn't know I needed

I didn’t post yesterday. The 4 of Swords caught up to me and sat me flat on my ass. My chest felt like cement, my head foggy, and my whole body heavy. Sometimes life doesn’t ask you—it forces you to rest. And I gave in.

This morning, I caught myself staring at my hands. Nails dirty from the barn, rough edges, no polish in sight. I thought about my old matte black acrylics. I miss those things more than I probably should. They made me feel sharp, put-together, even when everything else was falling apart. But like most of you know, when money and time get stretched thin, the first things to go are the little luxuries that made you feel like yourself.

Still, I got up. I started something new today—created a Facebook group where women can answer anonymously. No filters. No guilt. No “pretend everything is fine.” I want the kind of answers that make you nod, laugh, or maybe cry a little because someone finally said what you’ve been thinking. Those truths are going to fuel this space, my blog, and Wytnee as a whole.

Life outside of my little reflection bubble didn’t stop. Tonight, Dan’s team roping in Palentine with Mike. Ainsley’s probably nodding her head for the breakaway box. Bonnie sat this one out, but Gemma—Dan’s horse—still needed her prep. Old lady aches, the kind you can almost see in her stride. I cryo’d her back, SI joint, and hocks. The usual sore spots. She moved easier after. That’s what I love about cryo—it doesn’t erase years, but it gives these horses (and people) a shot at feeling good enough to keep doing what they love.

Tomorrow, I’ve got a brand-new student. Never been around horses or big livestock. Those lessons light me up. Watching someone stand next to a thousand-pound animal for the first time, seeing the awe and the fear hit them all at once—it reminds me why I teach. It’s humbling, grounding, and honestly one of the most honest moments a human can have.

And then, in the middle of all this, I had my therapy session with Jen. That woman keeps me steady. We talked about Wytnee—not the details, but the vision. We even talked cryo for her and the staff at the clinic. She made me feel like this isn’t some far-off dream—it’s happening. And then, because the universe has a wild sense of humor, I got an email invite for an interview at the College of Psychology. An admin aide job, but still—it feels like the stars are throwing breadcrumbs in my path. I’ve been talking about going back for my BS in Psychology, and now here’s this door swinging open.

So yeah, I’m still coughing, my chest is heavy, and my nails look like hell. But for once, the weight of the world doesn’t feel unbearable. Things are shifting. A little lighter. A little clearer. Like I can finally breathe, even if I’m still a little congested.

Here’s where I leave you: We don’t always get the perfect nails, the perfect timing, or the perfect health. But we do get these small cracks of light that remind us we’re still moving forward. And sometimes, that’s enough.

So tell me—what’s the one small thing you miss that made you feel more like you? And what’s the bigger thing you’re chasing that feels worth the trade-off? Share it in the group. Anonymous or not. Let’s stop pretending and start talking.